Message # 10
LIVING WITH LONELINESS
Next week: Handling Your Finances.
TEXT- JOHN 14:16-18 "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; (14:17) Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. (14:18) I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."
Loneliness is one of the most painful problems in life. Millions of people are lonely. You can be in a crowd and still feel all alone—alone with yourself, your fears, your problems, your needs. Hundreds are bustling around you, but still you feel unwanted, unneeded, and unimportant. You think: Nobody understands, or worse, Nobody cares! Without a friend to share your burdens, life itself becomes futile, meaningless.
Life is Meant to Be Shared
The Bible tells us that God was in perfect fellowship with Himself in eternity past... "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:26).
Man was created to have fellowship with God... "And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. (Genesis 2:7).
Yet God said: "It is not good that man should be alone" (Genesis 2:18). Therefore, God created woman to be a suitable helper or partner for man. They were to live in fellowship with each other and with God.
However, the Bible also clearly indicates that God has called some people to remain unmarried... "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." (Matthew 19:12).
By itself, marriage is not the answer. Many married people are still lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind that must be conquered from within.
1. Position.
If we are believers, our position in God’s eyes never varies: My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give eternal life to them, and they shall never perish; and no one shall snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand (John 10:27-29).
In Romans 8:35-39, we are told that nothing can separate us from Christ’s love. Sometimes, though, a coolness creeps into our relationship with God. We feel distant, isolated from Him. Eventually we wonder, Perhaps God doesn’t love me anymore. If this is so, then your problem is not one of position (that never varies), but relationship. Ask yourself how things stand between you and the Lord.
2. Purpose
A second need the soul has is that of purpose. Many people, especially those in their twenties, go through a time of confusion: They don’t know who they are and where they’re going. What they really have encountered is a crisis of purpose. Often they declare they can find little meaning to life. They turn to others asking, "What’s the true reason for living?" In Philippians 3:8, however, we see a man ardently pursuing the true goal of his life, Paul said: More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I might gain Christ. Ask yourself what God’s goal is for your life.
3. People.
God has created His children to have fellowship with one another. The Body of Christ serves many purposes, and one of the most important is to provide an avenue of support, encouragement, and closeness. These are qualities that nourish the emotionally starved soul. If you are lonely, you owe it to yourself to step out and seek more contact with other human beings. Whether it is volunteering for a community project, taking an arts-and crafts class, or joining a fellowship group at the church, interpersonal contact is a potent weapon against loneliness. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10)
4. Pleasure
One of the most common causes of loneliness is self-neglect, that is, neglecting our own soul’s need for laughter and enjoyment. The Bible speaks often of the importance of laughter; loneliness and discouragement are seen as enemies of God’s regenerative work within His people. Proverbs 13:12 describes this need for enjoyment: Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Legitimate fun nourishes the soul. Just because society thinks you should spend your life on a lonely treadmill is no reason to believe God does. Get out there and find some things you really enjoy doing.
5. Pause.
One little-known but very common cause of loneliness is the hectic, fast-paced world we live in. It causes us to avoid being alone with ourselves and with God. Jesus understood this well. At intervals, He withdrew to solitary spots to reexamine His life and commune with God. And after He had sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone (Matthew 14:23).
For a Christian, times set aside for meditation ad prayer are really indispensable. There is a certain nourishment which the soul requires that is only available in those quiet times of self-reflection and intimacy, which the Christian enjoys with God through the intercessory work of the Holy Spirit. One of the shortcomings of the modern-day Church is its lack of emphasis on personal worship and communion with God in the secret closets of our lives. When this time of personal intimacy with God is in short supply, one of the symptoms the soul may manifest is an emotional sense of loneliness. The cure is to take a few hours during the next week for some real quality time in prayer and meditation with the Lord.
Knowing Who You Are
Loneliness is a mental attitude. If we are living in fellowship with God, we are never really alone. He has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Just before His Ascension, Jesus declared, Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). This promise climaxes His Great Commission. He has sent us out to preach the Gospel to the entire world in the assurance of His continuing presence.
Over the centuries, that promise has sustained many a beleaguered saint. We never really face the problems of life alone, because Christ lives in us. He is ever present in the soul of the believer. Loneliness comes only when we lose sight of that truth.
Christ promised: I will not leave you comfortlessI will send the Comforterthe Spirit of Truthwhich is the Holy Spirit (John 14:18, 16, 17, 26). Through the Spirit, we have peace and reassurance that Christ lives within us. A lonely Christian , therefore, is one who has forgotten who he is. He has forgotten that he is a child of the King, and instead begins to live like an emotional outcast. He has laid down his spiritual armor (Eph. 6:10-18) and is wide open to attack. Forgetting his Lord’s victory, he is already preparing for defeat. He is living as though God were dead!
Loneliness is a self-inflicted bitterness. It is the belief that God is not there and does not care about you. What really complicates this problem for the Christian is that he knows that is not true! He knows in his heart that he is not alone; he is indwelt by the Spirit of God. You are a partaker of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4) Your life is co-eternal with the life of God! When a Christian feels alone, it is because he is distracting himself from the source of all meaning and purpose in life—God, the Creator and Sustainer—our Companion.
Knowing Who God Is
As a Christian, you are never really alone. Christ is always present in our lives through His indwelling Spirit. We feel alone when we see ourselves as victims of circumstance rather than victorious children of the living God.
Loneliness only comes when we fail to live in personal fellowship with Christ on a daily basis. If He is really alive and risen from the dead, why should you ever feel alone? Because your boyfriend dropped you? Because your husband died? Because your friend moved away? Because you lost your job? Never! The eternal God lives within you, and there is no excuse for loneliness!
You are a joint heir of Jesus Christ, who lives within you. You share in all that He is, all that He has. He has given you His righteousness and seated you with Him on His eternal throne! He has made you a child of God with an inheritance in heaven! He has done for you everything you could never have done for yourself!
God’s continual daily presence in your soul will sustain you through all the hard times of life. You are not out there on the road of life pushing, shoving, and struggling to succeed all by yourself. The Christian life is far more than a struggle to survive; it is a dynamic and exciting daily personal encounter with the living God!
Even When We Sin, He Is There!
Even when we have sinned against God, David, the psalmist, reminds us that we are not permanently cut off from Him. In the face of his own sin, David cried, Against thee, thee only, have I sinned (Psalms 51:4). He was still painfully aware of the presence of God. In another place, he asks, Whither shall I go from thy Spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost part of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me (Psalms 139:7-10). God is everywhere. He is omnipresent. Thus, even in the depth of his worst sin, David stood in God’s presence. Even in hell, there is a knowledge of the reality of the person of God.
Loneliness—that feeling of hopelessness and despair—is real. It has engulfed millions. Yet, for the Christian, there is no excuse for loneliness. Why?
(1) God is always there.
(2) Jesus promised never to leave or forsake us.
(3) We are indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God.
(4) We live in fellowship with Him.
(5) We are not cut off from God’s purposes. We are His purposes.
He sent Christ to redeem us and give us purpose and meaning in life. He has commissioned us to take His Gospel to the entire world. We are not struggling to find a purpose in life. We know what that purpose is. Get out there! Start sharing the message, and you will never be lonely. Remember the Great commission: Go ye therefore, and teach all nationsand, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen (Matthew 28: 19,20).
In John 15:1-5, Jesus said: I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruitAbide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit.
When you give your life to Christ by faith in Him, He comes to live within you. And once He comes in, you will never be alone again. He will always be there and never leave you. He will make you fruitful and useful.