Today, we continue our series entitled, “The Father Knows Best.” A series focused on God’s design for marriage. Over the last two weeks, we’ve talked about the expectations we have in marriage and God’s definition of marriage. But, we all know that for marriage to truly work, it must be based on love. Not the world’s definition of love, but God’s definition of love. So today, we’ll describe love!
1Cor. 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails..
I Corinthians 13:4b-6 ...love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
(v.4) “love does not envy”
“envy” (zay-LAW-oh) – “to heat up to a boil” that turns into bitterness & anger.
(v.4) “love does not parade itself”
“parade itself” (pair-pair-OOH-oh-my) – “to extol or boasting of one’s life and accomplishments excessively.”
This means two things:
(v.4) “[love] is not puffed up”
“puffed up” (foo-see-AH-oh) – “to promote & encourage & approves of those who “parade” themselves” – and sees it as an ‘acceptable practice in life & in the home.
(v.5) “[love] does not behave rudely”
“behave rudely” (ah-skay-mon-NEH-oh) – means, “conduct unbecoming” a spouse and/or Christian.
(v.5) “[love] does not seek its own”
“seek” (zay-TEH-oh) – “to intentionally & passionately search out [self-serving opportunities ]” It is used of animals stalking their pray – craving to “seek” or “capture” it for themselves. In this sense, it is an Enemy of Intimacy when one is continually focused on “watching out for themselves.”
(v.5) “[love] is not provoked”
“provoked” (par-ox-SOON-ay) – someone who has “disciplined themselves not to respond quickly in anger.” NOTE: The next point tells us how someone is able to discipline themselves this way:
(v.5) “[love] thinks no evil”
“thinks” (law-GIDZ-oh-my) NOTE: the “g” in GIDZ is a hard “g” as in the word “Game” – This is an accounting term that means to “to keep an account of” or, in essence, “holding a grudge.”
(v.6) “[love] does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth”
“does not rejoice…rejoices” (KAI-row) – meaning, love “doesn’t salute, honor, permit, promote, condone sin” in the relationship. Meaning, even if it is hard to tell their spouse/child that something isn’t right & they need to change, they will. It is a heart that recognizes that their intimacy as a couple/family is only as good as how much they love God and the things of God – first!
If I had ONE word to describe these “Enemies” of intimacy, it would have to be “SELFISHNESS.”
True intimacy in a marriage & family begins when WE OURSELVES look into OURSELVES & IDENTIFIES the PRIDE – and confesses it, repents of it, and gets it out of our lives!
1 Cor 13:7-8 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.
(v.7) “[love] bears all things”
“bears” (stego) (NOTE: pronounced like “leggo” with an “st”) – an interesting word meaning “to cover up for the purpose of protecting it from something that would threaten it.” EG. Covering up a motorcycle with a tarp to protect it from an on-coming storm! If you love someone, you protect them from not only physical harm, but also emotional harm, and attacks to their spiritual growth & maturity.
My fear is that many husbands/wives protect the other from everything “out there”…but don’t protect our spouse from the damage that we personally cause them (i.e. our own words, arguments, verbal cuts/jabs).
Rather, we need to provide “shade” (i.e. protection) for our family/children from the coming storms of life! And the longer you live life, you & your spouse realize, “We’re all we got!” So we better keep things strong & good between us!
(v.7) “[love] believes all things”
“believes” (piss-TOO-oh) – “to place confidence; to trust”
This is a strong tool to keep marriages strong & intimate. That’s why the Devil is out to fracture this one! If you have it? Don’t break it. If you have fractured it? Be encouraged, you CAN get it back! It’s just going to take some work but it can work out again!
(v.7) “[love] hopes all things”
Simply means, “Love assumes the best of the other person (i.e. gives the benefit of the doubt).”
E.G. If you say something that could be understood one or two ways, they will always assume you meant it the best way.
(v.7) “[love] endures all things”
“endures” (hoo-PAW-mawn-ay) – A VERY IMPORTANT COMPARISON: Compare the “General Summary Statement – “love suffers long” vs. “endures.” The phrase “love suffers long” was “perseverance in the face of the unknown that MAY come” This word goes beyond that and says, “to persevere in the face of misfortunes that HAVE come...without weakening!”
You see, it’s one thing to promise, “I’ll love you no matter what may come our way,” BUT the PROOF that you mean this vow is that when the tough times come…
Financial Hardship,
Loss of parents/loved ones,
Stressful seasons of life,
And even a Fracture of trust in your relationship,
…You stick it out together!
A Simple Conclusion …kind of like Paul was saying, “if you didn’t hear anything I just said, then just remember this description of true love/intimacy:”
(v.8) “Love never fails…”
Or, “[This kind of] love never ends”
“fails” (eck-PIP-toe) – “to fall out of favor, position, or appointed placement” or “gets pushed to the end”
1 Cor13:13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
With Faith in God and Hope found in Him, true love is certain!